I’ve been taken back by the number of conversations I’ve had about sex where the person I’m talking to says something like this-
“I need to get better about sex for my spouse”.
I’m sorry- but if you take on that attitude, you’re gonna fail. Besides, your spouse can tell the difference if you are having sex for them, verses with them.
Having sex FOR your spouse comes across as an obligation- not something you are are going to get any benefit from. However, if you decide you want to have sex WITH your spouse, then it becomes a mutually beneficial thing.
9 times out of 10, your motivation for sex should be to invest in the intimacy of your marriage. Sure, there are going to be some times when you are putting aside your preferences and giving your spouse something that they really need. But, if you make your sex life a full diet of just, “doing it FOR my spouse”…you’re gonna fail and all kinds of resentment will happen on both sides of the equation.
Why not commit to making your sexual interactions something you do WITH your spouse. Take them off your chore list.