Whenever I get the question, “How often should I have sex with my spouse?” it is usually coming from a person that isn’t happy in their sex life. Either they are a lower drive spouse and feel that they are being expected to have sex too much. Or they are a higher drive spouse and wish that they were having sex more often.
I’ve never had anyone ask this that had a satisfied sex life.
Sex Is More Than Just Physical Pleasure
One thing that I want to point out, is that sex is more than just something you do for physical pleasure. When you make love to your spouse, you are connecting to them. It is a way to express love and affection, also.
Uniting your bodies will cause you to feel emotionally and spiritually connect. Sex is God’s design. It is a physical representation of what God did spiritually between husband and wife.
There are plenty of times when you may not be in the mood for sex, but it is good for your relationship.
Physical Intimacy Should Be Pleasing to Both People
For both spouse’s to have a satisfied sex life, then both should enjoy the encounters. Neither should feel that they are being used in any way. Both should feel pleasure during the times of intimacy on a regular basis. (This is not to say you can’t have encounter specifically to please your spouse, but it shouldn’t be what happens most times.)
It will take a lot of conversation between you and your spouse to develop a satisfied sex life. It is going to require you both to learn what the other person needs and wants; then working towards meeting those needs.
Work Out Together The Number of Times
It is important that you and your spouse figure out together the number of times a week you should be be together. Depending on the different seasons of your life, these numbers of times will change.
What you are aiming for in your marriage is to connect with your spouse as much as possible. Physical intimacy is one of the ways you can connect. Don’t underestimate the power of this in your marriage.
If I were to share with you how often I think you should be together in a week, I would say at least 2 times, but more than that if you can. Now- I always hate to give numbers like this, but I feel like sex is central to marriage that it can’t be neglected.
What if you went a week or more without talking to your spouse? That would damage your relationship. Same thing goes with your physical relationship. The more time that you ignore that area of your marriage, the more it will damage you.
What do you think? How often is good for your marriage?