Which Music is Best For Sex?

It’s not very often that we use music during sex, but it can be great for certain situations. If you are trying to drown out the noise from outside of your room, it can be really helpful. Or, it might be a great way to get in the mood. If you play the same kind of music every time you have sex, it can do the same thing for you that sex fragrances can do. 

When I’m looking for the right kind of music for sex, there are a few things I keep in mind:

Upbeat Music For Foreplay

Anything I can dance to is fair game if we’re using music for foreplay. Have fun with the time you spend together in foreplay. It’s ok to be silly, flirty, or even sexy. You might even consider something you can dance to together. 

Instrumental Only During Sex

If there is music playing that I know the words to, it can be hard for me to focus on what I’m doing. For that reason, the music I go with can’t have lyrics that are going to distract me. For that matter, I try to stay away from lyrics that aren’t focused on love. Breakup songs or other depressing subject matter isn’t your best option. 

Instrumental Jazz Music

Instrumental jazz is my personal preference for romantic music. Of course, I still have to find the right rhythm, because some jazz is fairly upbeat. I always go for soft and slow beats that feature a saxophone.

There are plenty of other types of instrumental music you can go with if jazz isn’t your thing. I usually put on a youtube playlist. Here’s one of my favorites:

Stick With Songs That Bring You Good Vibes

Music can cause you to bounce into another time before you know it. Only play songs that remind you of good times in your marriage and life. It can be a real mood killer to play something that reminds you of a high school break up or another tragedy. 

Pick The Right Pace

Pretty much everyone moves to the beat of music. Choose something that will go at the pace you want to move during your times of intimacy. You’ll want to stay away from things that are really fast, because it’ll be hard to move at the right speed.  

Just Try Something

When you choose music for sexy times, just try something and see what you think. Like anything in sex, give it a go and see how you respond to it. You might find you really love listening to music during intimate times. 

Printable Christian Friendly Sex Positions

If you love Christian Friendly Sex Positions, then you are going to love this! The owner of the site created a printable of sex positions that you can download. It’s a great resource that allows you to print out the positions and use them in the bedroom.

You can grab your copy of these printables below!

The Sexiest Bedroom Game I Ever Created

I LOOOOVE bedroom games. And you know what’s weird, I never saw myself as someone that would. The first bedroom game Austin and I ever created was the sexiest game we’ve made. I think I feel that way because it is the first game we ever played together. Man, it’s hard to re-create that night, but we like to try!

The game we made is called It’s Getting Hot in Here (so take off all your clothes). What I’ve loved about this game is that every time we’ve played it, it’s different, but just as sexy. All you do is print out the game board and cards, grab one die and use two small objects as markers for the board. Every roll, you move a few spaces and do what the space says to do. Sometimes you get to draw a card and other times you do what’s on the square. As you move through the board, more and more of your clothes come off. 

Austin and I came up with the foreplay moves for the game, but we also created a version that allows you to write in your own ideas. You can grab it here. Honestly, it was super hot to come up with our own ideas. It made us feel so excited about playing the game later. 

Why Would Anyone Want to do _____ in The Bedroom?

I get asked all the time why someone would want to do __________ in the bedroom. The blank has ranged from things like oral to anal to light bondage, etc. You get the picture. Ever since I started writing for my marriage blog, I’ve tried to keep a really open mind about the things that couples do together that bring intimacy.

person holding a pillow over their face

Now, I’m not talking about things that are touted as “spicing things up” that genuinely cause division. Things like porn, threesomes, or anything that makes one person feel degraded. What I am talking about are things that are on a couple’s mind to be intimate.

For example, I know couples that like to use blindfolds or have their hands lightly bond to the bedposts. That’s not something I’m going to feel comfortable with, but I know these couples are enjoying time together in an intimate way where both feel clean before God.

But, then it happened…I was sooooo judgemental! I read a question on a friend’s blog about something in the bedroom that I just thought, why would anyone want to do that? And honestly, it’s not my place. It’s that type of judgment that keeps people from sharing their questions with others.

So, friends, I apologize. I want to say sorry for my internal reaction to reading what someone else desires in the bedroom. And, I’m going to be on guard against those thoughts so that I am someone you can trust with your questions.

Super Sexy Porn Free Lingerie

Ok, I have to admit, my least favorite thing about lingerie shopping is seeing it on other women. It makes me feel bad about my body and I know for a fact I will not look like that person. Not only that, it’s impossible for my husband to actually look for lingerie for me.

Super Sexy Porn Free Lingerie

I’m so excited about Honoring Intimates for this reason. They sent me some lingerie a few months ago. Their lingerie has their own tags on them so they are porn free. Not only that, they take the pictures of the items on mannequins so you can see what it looks like without seeing real boobs.

It’s perfect for the husband that wants to look for new things for their wife without seeing naked women. Also, a wife can go and look for something special without feeling bad about her own body.

Hot Lingerie

Here’s a few of the pieces in the shop you might want to check out. They have many more.

Clever Clarissa Pink Romper

Flapper Faye Fringe Babydoll

Beaming BridgetRevering Rebecca Open Cup Babydoll

Lavendar Lana Bralette Set

Amazing Amy Bra and Garter Set

3 Things a Woman Should Focus on To Orgasm

If you are a woman that is having a hard time orgasming, I put together a few tips that will help you. These aren’t a guarantee that you will be able to reach that point, but there are a few things that you can try.

1. Focus On The Way You Clitoris Feels

Focus on your body and how everything feels, otherwise, your mind will wander to everything that happened that day. Close your eyes if you need to and think about how your clitoris feels during the stimulation.

2. Build Up Arousal Slowly

If you’re using a vibrator, start at a really slow speed. If you’re receiving oral or direct stimulation of another kind, start slow and build. When you’re having sex, start slow with moving and build. You should lay back and relax during that period so you’re not wearing yourself out to feel aroused.

3. Push Past The Burning Sensation

Push past the burning feeling or the feeling of the urge to pee to get to orgasm. A lot of women stop before orgasm because they either feel a burning sensation or the need to pee. They might even feel like they will end up peeing.

To have your first orgasm, you have to push past the feeling. It’s really hard to mentally push past if you think you’re going to pee everywhere. So, a good thing to do is make sure your bladder is fully empty before sex, this way, it minimizes that feeling.

However, after you have had a few orgasms, that feeling is not nearly as intense and it turns to something that feels a lot more pleasurable. But honestly, the first couple orgasms don’t really feel all that great. And, they can leave you feeling a little disappointed. But, the more you have, the better it feels.

Hopefully, this helps you if you are struggling to have orgasms.

The Key to Orgasm With a Vibrator

Have you tried using a vibrator to orgasm, but really struggled? Here’s the key to using one to reach climax.

The Problem With Orgasming With a Vibrator

One of the biggest problems you can experience is setting your vibrator up too high to start out. It can easily go from feeling good to being really annoying and uncomfortable within a few minutes. The vibration can feel amazing but you can struggle to get over the hill and experience climax.

How to Orgasm With a Sex Toy

There are a few keys to orgasming with a vibrator:

1. Pick the right toy.

I know some people think that if you use a vibrator it’s an instant orgasm device. It’s not the case though. Honestly, the more expensive the vibrator, the better in general. It’s because more expensive products are designed with better vibration patterns. WeVibe products are usually good quality.

2. Choose the right speed.

Start with a low vibration. If you get there too fast, then it is going to irritate and start to hurt. At the same time, if you stay too slow for too long, it can kill the feelings. It really is a fine balance. You have to learn to communicate to your spouse what speed and movements you need them to use. Don’t be afraid to guide their hand.

3. Get Into Different Positions

The position you start out in may not be where you need to stay. Once things start feeling good, move around to see what you like. For example, you might start out on your back and then move to being on your hands and knees when things start feeling good.

4. Incorporate Other Stimulation

While you or your spouse is using the toy on you, do other sexually stimulating things. You can try kissing, rubbing, light slapping, or sexy talk. Also, consider doing things that are visually stimulating. Get in front of a mirror or use the camera on your phone to get a closer look at what’s happening.

If you’re not able to orgasm with a toy, that’s not unusual. Don’t get discouraged. Keep trying different toys and methods to see what works for you. Here’s another resource I wrote on orgasming with a vibrator.

Why I Bought a Vibrator

Sex toys get such a bad rap, and I understand why. A lot of bad images are conjured up when people start thinking about sex toys. But, the industry has changed tremendously. That’s why so many Christian married couples are choosing to buy sex toys.

Sex Toys Can Be Marital Aids

There are no doubt toys on the market that are meant for you to masturbate and not to help a couple grow closer to intimacy. I know there are many people that think anytime you introduce a toy into the marriage bed, it replaces the need for the spouse. However, I haven’t found that to be true in my marriage. I believe that it is not the best choice for everyone.

But…vibrators, penis pumps, penis sleeves, cock rings, lubes and other marital aids have really helped couples to experience the joy of sex with one another. When you use these items together, it can bring a lot of satisfaction and connection.

Why I Bought a Vibrator

Many years ago, I bought a vibrator. I wanted to try anal sex and I read that a vibrator would make it feel good for me. Also, I read that it can make the experience less painful. It’s all true by the way. If you are considering trying out anal, I do recommend a vibrator, and a lot of lube and a condom for your husband.

The majority of sex positions do not provide a woman with enough clitoral stimulation to orgasm. That’s one of the times that a vibrator is helpful for a couple.

When to Use a Vibrator

There are many times a vibrator is a great option for a couple. Some of these times include:

  • During your period– if you don’t like to have intercourse during your period, a vibrator can be a great option. I recommend you buy a stroker for your husband so that you can take turns pleasing each other during that time of the month.
  • When you are struggling to orgasm– it’s no secret that some women have a very hard time orgasming. A vibrator can be used to help her achieve that. Not every woman is going to be able to orgasm with a vibrator, but she may find it helps her to get warmed up for sex.
  • To stimulate your husband’s frenulum– the frenulum is located near the head of the penis and resembles the skin that’s on the inside of your mouth that connects your top lip to your gums. This area on your husband acts very similar to the clitoris and can be stimulated in the same way using a vibrator.
  • You want to try something new- just like a new sex position or foreplay move, a sex toy can bring variety to your intimacy.
  • In a sex position that doesn’t stimulate you enough- if you are trying out a sex position, such as rear entry, consider using a vibrator to stimulate yourself.

What Are Your Questions About Vibrators or Sex Toys?

If you have questions about vibrators or sex toys, feel free to send me a message at You can also send me a message through the Love Hope Adventure Facebook page. I will do my best to answer or get the info you need.

Good First Vibrators to Try

If you’re ready to try one, I’ve got a few recommendations for you. I do want to issue a warning, it’s really important you buy sex toys from reputable sources because they are not regulated like other industries. That means they can be made of materials that are not healthy for your body. That’s why I send people to Married Dance, which is a Christian Friendly Sex Toy store. Everything they sell is in porn free packaging and made with quality materials.

Magic Wand

The magic wand is actually a body massager that worked really well as a stimulator. Many couples like to buy this because it has a dual purpose. If they do not like it as a vibrator, they can still use it as a massager for their body.


The Lelo SONA is designed to specifically stimulate the clitoris. The great thing about it is that it is quiet. Many vibrators sound like a toothbrush buzzing. It also comes with a cable to recharge it so you don’t have to deal with batteries.

Jelly Eager Beaver

The Jelly Eager Beaver has dual stimulation. That means it vibrates inside and stimulates the outside as well. The good thing about this type is that you can use the part that is designed to go inside on your clitoris if you don’t feel comfortable with it inside.

Hopefully, this will help you decide if it is the right thing for you or not. It won’t be the best choice for everyone.

*I use affiliate links

4 Not so Sexy Things That Happen During Real Life Sex

There are so many not so sexy things that happen during sex. In fact, it can be quite comical in the moment if you aren’t too uptight about it (and I hope you’re not!). Sex in marriage isn’t meant to be perfect. It’s fun, exciting, comforting, messy, routine, mundane…a lot of things, but not perfect.

awkward things that happen during sex

So, I thought I’d share 4 not so sexy things that can happen during real sex.

Someone feels sick

Ever start having sex and think, “I ate too much”. A full belly is the worst thing before sex. All the moving and pressure is enough to make your chili dog come up in your mouth. So gross. I can’t even count the number of times I regretted having a snack too close to bedtime.

Something gets kicked

Ever seen Hitch? I always think about the scene where he’s on a date and kicks the girl into the water whenever I’m trying to re-position in the bed. No matter how hard we try, every now and then, some body part gets kicked.

A child needs an answer

We lock our doors. We taught our kids to knock. They aren’t going to come in on us, but we’ve had to stop everything on many occasions to have full discussions with a child through the door. #moodkiller

Someone reaches their step goal

My fitbit has been known to throw many a party during a nice romp. Apparently, sexual motions are the same as walking motions. If you wear a fitbit, then I’m sure you know how much this can take you out of the moment.

Have anything embarrassing to add to the list of not so sexy things that happen during sex? Leave me a message in the comments. It’s nice to commiserate with those that get it.

Other things on my mind:

Just saw that The Dating Divas put 4 of their most popular books on sale for just $1. One of them is the Ultimate Date Night Book. I actually own the book. Two of my favorite dates from there is the bookstore date and the porch prom date. If you are looking for creative ideas that are fully fledged out for you, then you should check it out.

Check out this video I did showing off the book and the date ideas I like.


Go here to buy the book.

Chat later!