Author: Keelie Reason

The results from the lingerie survey are in! While I am not ready to release the results yet, there is one interesting thing that I noticed- not nearly enough men are wearing lingerie. Which begs the question, should we call it lingerie for men?

We Coined the Term Sexywear

We bounced around the idea of what to call it in our private community. We came up with men’s sexywear! I think that sounds a lot better than lingerie for men, personally. What do you think? We played around with manwear, but that conjured up images of lumberjacks in the woods (which might be your thing).

Why Don’t Men Wear Lingerie?

That brings me to my next thought. Why aren’t men wearing more sexywear? I know several men who have told me they’ve asked their wives what they want them to wear and their wives simply don’t know. I get it. There’s not a lot on the market for men at this point, but there is enough for you guys to figure out how to look hot for your wife.

Men’s Sexywear Recommendations

I recommend that if your wife doesn’t give you any ideas, you should start trying some things. Check out this article I wrote about men’s sexy outfits and lingerie.

To add to the list of things I wrote in that article, some of our community members suggested these items:

• Tight white t-shirts
• Cologne (One of my favorites is Adidas Moves)
• Silky boxers (you can grab some comfy ones from Honoring Intimates under the sale tab. Austin got a pair and they were nice.)
• Compression t-shirts
• Suits (my personal favorite)
• And of course, a sexy lumberjack outfit!

What else would you add to the list? leave me a comment and let me know. 

Other things on my mind this week:

Austin and I put our marriage course in a bundle of resources from The Dating Divas. It’s on sale for two more days. You can read up on it on the blog and watch the video I recorded to show off what you get inside.

*I use affiliate links

I had a reader ask me to do a video about sex toys for men. Just as a note, I believe that all marital aids should be used between a husband and wife. I don’t think you should purchase sex toys so that you can please yourself as a way of avoiding sex with your spouse. Or use toys without your spouse’s knowledge.

If you want to learn more about this, you can go here to check it out.

If you would rather read about the sex toys available for men, you can check out this post I wrote.

Looking for a good place to buy a new toy? I trust Married Dance for this type of purchase because they are porn free on the site and only ship porn free packaging. There are a lot of things you just don’t need to see in the sex toy world. But, Married Dance offers great products for Christians.

Here is a link to a stretchy cock ring that is designed to go over a man’s penis and balls.

Here is a link to several strokers for guys.

Even after 30 years of marriage, my parent still kiss each other goodbye every day. I remember seeing this small act of love while I was growing up. They may not realize this, but that act made me realize the importance of kissing my husband every day. Now that I’m married, I also do this daily in my marriage. Here are some ways things I’ve taken away from it.

We Don’t Go to Bed Angry

It’s very hard to be upset for long periods when you’re kissing each other several times a day. Yes, there are still moments when we’re mad at one another, but we still kiss each other daily. What people may not realize is that kissing creates a deep bond with your spouse. It forms a connection that you want to keep.

Kissing Leads to Physical Affection

Now, my husband is very physically affectionate and I have to work at it because I’m not naturally that way. However, because I make a conscious decision to kiss him every day, we often engage in lots of fun flirting and other forms of physical affection. The small step of kissing makes it easier to show him affection in many ways.

Sex Doesn’t Always Happen And That’s a Good Thing

It’s important to be physically affectionate with your spouse without it leading to the bedroom. Establishing touch that isn’t sexual is necessary in marriage. There are many ways bonding should happen without it leading to sex. If kissing your spouse is only happening in the bedroom, you’re missing out on creating a lasting bond with your spouse.

Sex Does Happen And That’s a Good Thing

The practice of being physically affectionate with one another can result in sex and that’s great! Continual kissing during the day strengthens the bond between you. There are days when a kiss lingers and foretells something that will happen later on.

My Marriage Is Happy

When my husband is gone during the day, our daily kisses help me remember why I miss him. When he comes home, I feel joyful and I get excited when I see him. While enjoying affection in the bedroom is great, taking the focus out of the bedroom helps me form a deeper bond with him.

A small gesture like daily kissing is a simple way to strengthen your relationship. I have seen this do amazing things in marriages, including my parents’, and I know it’s helping mine. Anything that strengthens your marriage is worth investing in.

* I use affiliate links *

The owner of Married Dance put together these great tips on vibrators. He was gracious enough to let me share these tips with you. I know I learned a lot from these ideas. It can be scary to buy a vibrator, because you have no idea what it will feel like or if it is a waste of money. These tips will help you pick out the right one.

1. Bullet and Egg Vibrators

If you’ve never used a vibrators before, these are a good kinds to start with. Bullet vibrators are usually small and can be used to from stimulation during foreplay. You can them take a step further and add some spice to intercourse.

Egg vibrators are named as such because they are shaped like a flattened egg. Instead of holding them like the bullet, these ones are cupped by your hand. These types can be used both on the wife and husband.

2. Wireless Remote Controlled Vibrators

Operating these toys can be quite fun. Just like other vibrators I’ll mention in a minute, they can be enjoyed during foreplay and intercourse. Here are two ways to use them:

• The husband uses the bullet vibrators and places it inside the wife. She has the remote to control the level of stimulation. Oral or manual stimulation can accompany the use this type.
• The wife takes the egg vibrator, cups it in her hand and places it underneath her husband’s testicles. He gets the remote this time, allowing him to control his own pleasure. Oral stimulation from the wife pairs well with this technique. This one is best used if you want “catch a breath during intercourse”.

3. Wearable Vibrators

These types of vibrators can be worn by your husband during intercourse. A stretchy ring is placed around the bullet vibrator so it can be worn on the penis. It then vibrates to stimulate your husband during intercourse while at the same time stimulating your clitoris.

4. Bullet Vibrators With a Flat Tip

The vibrators have a flat tip at one end. This is primarily for the wife’s use. The flat tip enables optimal clitoral stimulation to be reached by easily targeting where she needs it.

5. Rumbly Vibrators

While most vibrators have a low humming sound, these rumbly vibrators are quite the opposite. Although they are still quiet, they are very powerful. The powerful rumble enhances lovemaking by delivering an intense charge of stimulation during foreplay or even intercourse.

*this post contains affiliate links

Just so you know, I freaking love Denis. He is the owner of Melt Massage, which is a video course that teaches you how to massage your spouse. I have gone through the course and done these massages for Austin in the past. Today, Denis released a breast massage video on YouTube. Don’t worry! There’s nothing sexual about it.

He goes through the tutorial on the streets of Spain. Breast massage is so important! For one, it can be used as an early detection of cancer or cysts. Also, it can help you restore lost breast tissue and increase your breast size and fullness.

How to Do a Breast Massage

If you want to check out his full video courses go here. Want the most amazing oils for massage? Check out his blends on Amazon here.

He has done a really great job showing how you can make this massage sensual for both men and women. I’m so happy he does these tutorials. Tell me what you think about it!

*i use affiliate links

6 Things You Should Never Say To Your Spouse

Any relationship worth having takes work. In every relationship, there will come a point where someone will get hurt. You never know how your words will affect someone you love. There is no secret formula to predict if they’ll be hurt, but there are 6 things you should never say to your spouse.

1. I Don’t Care

When someone you love hears these words, it’s like you’re saying you don’t care about them. Do everything you can to avoid saying these words. When your spouse hears that you don’t care about something they care about, it can really damage your relationship. This is especially true if they feel you don’t care about them.

2. Have You Put On Weight?

This is just a bad idea any way you look at it. If you ask your spouse about their weight, it is the same as telling them you think they’re fat. This is just plain hurtful. Even if you don’t think that, and you’re just concerned about their health, take a different approach. Making comments like this will only begin to put up a wall between you.

3. You Don’t Look As Attractive As You Used To

Okay. Yes, our bodies were made to age. It is obvious that no one is going to look the same at 38 as they did at 22. It’s ridiculous to expect your spouse to look the same way they did when you were first married. But, there are plenty of ways to communicate these feelings without saying them.

Implying or saying that you don’t feel your spouse is as attractive as they used to be, is damaging to their self esteem. You want to build your spouse up, not crush them.

4. Sex Isn’t That Important To Me

It is very hard for a spouse with high libido to hear their partner doesn’t think sex is that big of a priority. This makes them feel unimportant. When you say this, you’re essentially saying it’s too hard for you to meet your spouse’s needs.

5. I’m Leaving You

It’s true that we all say hurtful things when we’re angry. Married couples often say things they wish they could take back. Some words are more damaging than others. Telling your spouse you are leaving them can cause serious damage to your marriage. You should never say this to your spouse. It can also cause distrust in your marriage. Unless you’re fully prepared to walk out the door, don’t threaten to.

6. Why Don’t You Act More Like…?

It will wreck your relationship if you start comparing your spouse to others. Regardless of who you are comparing your spouse to, expecting them to act like someone else will damage your marriage. It isn’t fair to your spouse to wish they were like someone else. Remember, you married them for the unique individual they are.

Tending to your marriage can be difficult. When you’re living with another person, disagreements may happen. It is important to remember that when it comes to relationships, these are definitely things you should never say to one another.

*this post contains affiliate links

Brace yourself. I am about to unashamedly tell you why masturbation is not healthy for your marriage. Are you wondering why? I believe solo sex hinders your marriage relationship for these reasons.

There Is A Purpose For Masturbation Within Marriage

I want to clarify something about the difference between masturbation and solo sex. I am not suggesting that masturbation (achieving orgasm with your own hands) should never occur. It can have its place during intimacy with your spouse if you both are comfortable with that. However, solo sex (pleasing yourself alone) is not helping your marital relationship.

There may be times when you have to spend extended time apart from your spouse. I also want to clarify that I am not suggesting you should go without sexual release during this time. I am encouraging you to include your spouse in your sexual desires which includes self-stimulation.

Solo Sex Damages Your Marriage

It is a popular misconception that solo sex enhances your marriage. I’m just not getting that idea. There are many people out there who feel spending time exploring yourself will make sex better with your spouse. I have not heard any legitimate reasons why this could be true.

The more you engage in solo sex, the less you will want to engage in physical intimacy with your spouse. Why would you want to initiate sex when you’ve already satisfied yourself? While solo sex is faster, you are missing out on connecting with your spouse.

Yes, engaging in sexual intercourse takes much more work than solo sex. The more you desire solo sex, the less you’ll desire your spouse. You will eventually have less sex because you are already getting it by yourself. This will damage your relationship down the road.  

Sexual Release Replaces Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is “intimacy” for a reason. It requires two people. There is a special mental and physical bond that happens during sex that leads to mutual satisfaction. Sex is so much more than just achieving an orgasm.

Sexual intimacy with your spouse establishes a connection with them that you cannot achieve during solo sex. Some people believe that solo sex helps you connect with yourself. Find a way to do that with your spouse.

Talk with your spouse about your sexual needs and desires. It hurts your marriage to replace intimacy with solo release. You will miss out on creating an amazing connection with your spouse.

*this post contains affiliate links

Many woman struggle with their sexual health and have no idea where to start. First and foremost, it is important to realize that men are easily aroused through physical encounters, while women require more emotional connection. In order for a woman to reach the point of orgasm, her mind and emotions must be completely engaged with her partner. Once this occurs, truly amazing sex can be enjoyed by both.

Most women struggle with the way that they think about themselves. Women have many reasons as to why they struggle with having the right mindset for sex. I have listed several ways that you can prepare yourself to have the right attitude for enjoyable sex with your spouse.

You can read the full post at Love Hope  Adventure

Both husbands and wives are susceptible to low libido. What is low libido exactly? It’s when you don’t have the desire to have sex. So, what causes that? Here are a few reasons your desire may drop

1. Sex is Painful

Some people experience pain when they are having sex. Discomfort during sex will kill the mood.

These are a few of the types of pain you might experience:

• Joint pain
• Stomach aches or cramps
• Vaginal dryness
• Internal pain

When you are in pain during a time of sex, it can keep you from enjoying yourself. In fact, you may not orgasm at all. It can be hard to be excited about sex if you know you are going to be let down.

2. Medication or Medical Conditions

Some medications can cause your desire to go away. Medications like birth control and antidepressants are big culprits. Talk to your doctor about trying a different medicine if it keeps up. There might be other things you can do to control your condition.

3. Too Tired

Maybe you have little babies you are getting up with all through the night. Or, you might be in a busy season of life at work. It could be that you have been sick for a while. No matter what the reason you are tired, it can keep you from getting excited about sex.

4. Being Pregnant

Some women have a higher libido when they get pregnant. Others have hormone changes that decrease their desire. Even when you are breastfeeding, it can cause your hormones to be out of whack.

This season of a woman’s life also brings a lot of factors that can make it hard for her to engage in sex. Taking care of children is draining and exhausting. It causes women to have a different opinion of her body, which can keep her from not feeling sexy.

5. Problems in The Marriage

Real problems in the marriage can keep you from enjoying sex with your spouse. It can be hard to feel close to someone when you are always fighting.

If you are dealing with low libido, it’s best to figure out what’s going on. Once you know the reason behind what you are dealing with, you can work towards a solution.

* I use affiliate links

I don’t know where you live, but it is cold here in Texas right now. Surprisingly enough, we’ve had to run our fireplace quite a bit this week. I thought it would be fun to give you a few ideas of sexy date night ideas for these long winter nights.

1. Snuggle Date

Invite your spouse to a night of snuggling. Make up a basket of warm items you can cozy up with. Put in a blanket, socks, pj’s, and hot chocolate.

Include fun things to do in the basket as well. Choose a fun movie that you will both enjoy. Of course, the top pics would include a movie that has a romance story, whether it is a comedy or drama.

Also, you can add a few packages of hot chocolate and other snacks to enjoy while you watch the movie. To really make this date night sexy, get undressed and snuggle under the covers towards the end of the movie. It will help build anticipation for activities to come afterward.

2. Enjoy Dinner In Front of the Fireplace

Light the fire and spread out blankets and pillows on the floor. If you do not have a fireplace, do the same thing in front of your Christmas tree or some soft lighting. You can even  

Put together a simple menu that you and your spouse can eat while sitting on the floor together. To make it more comfortable, place the pillows up against a wall or couches so that you both have a way to recline while eating.

Want to kick it up a notch? Make the night sexier by wearing lingerie or something revealing. Focus your conversation on sex or something sultry. It will make the night even more exciting.

3. Make Smores

If you do not have a fire indoors, you can build one outside that you can huddle around. The night sky and blazing flames are sure to give you the environment you need to have a romantic evening.

If you can, roast a few marshmallows and feed them to each other. I once saw that you can actually roast them over a candle flame. Not sure if it would actually work, but you can try!

Sexy date nights are so easy in the winter. Snuggling and cuddling in front of the fire and warm glowing lights is so much fun. Of course, don’t forget to take off your clothes at some point and enjoy some naked snuggling.

*this post contains affiliate links