Category: Love

3 Ways to Make Scheduled Sex Hot

One of my biggest tips for married couples is to schedule sex. A lot of people buck against me on that one, because they think it takes all the romance and excitement out of it. I think television has made us feel that way. If we don’t rip each other’s clothes off during a kissing frenzy, then it’s not amazing sex. I completely disagree. Scheduled sex can be super hot and here’s how.

One of my biggest tips for married couples is to schedule sex. A lot of people buck against me on that one, because they think it takes all the romance and excitement out of it. I think television has made us feel that way. If we don’t rip each other’s clothes off during a kissing frenzy, then it’s not amazing sex. I completely disagree. Scheduled sex can be super hot and here’s how.

1. Remind Each Other Early in The Day

Like anything else you put on your calendar, it’s important to remind each other about it. If your kid needs to get picked up at a different time, you’re going to send a reminder text right? Supposed to meet someone for dinner? You’re going to mention it before you part ways in the morning. You need to do the same thing on the days you are planning to have sex.

There are plenty of ways you can send sexy reminders to your spouse. You might send them a quick text that says, “can’t wait till later”. Or maybe you leave them a handwritten note in a place they’ll see it.

One of my favorite ways is to shoot a message through an app like Couple. If you establish this app as a place where you only write sexy things to your spouse, then they will know you are sending something steamy when they get the notification. Also, it’s password protected so no worries of the kids or folks at work seeing it.

2. Flirt Throughout the Day

I think a lot of couples abandon flirting after their dating years. What is flirting? I think of it as a loving ways to get your spouse’s attention. Maybe you give them a sexy look from across the room or say compliment the way they look. It could be a cheesy one liner or sweet hug and kiss.

One word of caution about flirting is that you need to learn what types of flirting your spouse responds to best. One of the biggest ways I see husbands flirt with their wives is to grab a boob. Not all women see copping a feel as flirting. Ask them what they like and aim to do those things.

Even if you are not home together, you can send a flirty text. You can call them on the phone for a few minutes and say something sweet to them.

Not sure what to text them? Check out these flirty texts from The Dating Divas.

3. Start Foreplay Before You Head to Bed For Sex

Get each other warmed up before you get to the bedroom. This might be the time when grabbing a boob or pinching a butt is welcomed. It’s a lot of fun to rub on your spouse here and there leading up to bed.

Jay Dee over at Uncovering Intimacy talked about how he and his wife spent a day having sex. They ran off for a few minutes to indulge in a little foreplay. They would stop before he climaxed but would keep going if she could. Women can have multiple orgasms without the refractory period, so it makes this approach fun for them.

The best way to make sex hot is to go into the night already excited. If it’s simply on the schedule, but neither of you says anything about it or act on it, then it will likely fall flat. Use the schedule to your advantage and build anticipation with each other.

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We Just Coined a New Term- Men’s Sexywear

The results from the lingerie survey are in! While I am not ready to release the results yet, there is one interesting thing that I noticed- not nearly enough men are wearing lingerie. Which begs the question, should we call it lingerie for men?

We Coined the Term Sexywear

We bounced around the idea of what to call it in our private community. We came up with men’s sexywear! I think that sounds a lot better than lingerie for men, personally. What do you think? We played around with manwear, but that conjured up images of lumberjacks in the woods (which might be your thing).

Why Don’t Men Wear Lingerie?

That brings me to my next thought. Why aren’t men wearing more sexywear? I know several men who have told me they’ve asked their wives what they want them to wear and their wives simply don’t know. I get it. There’s not a lot on the market for men at this point, but there is enough for you guys to figure out how to look hot for your wife.

Men’s Sexywear Recommendations

I recommend that if your wife doesn’t give you any ideas, you should start trying some things. Check out this article I wrote about men’s sexy outfits and lingerie.

To add to the list of things I wrote in that article, some of our community members suggested these items:

What else would you add to the list? leave me a comment and let me know. 

Other things on my mind this week:

Austin and I put our marriage course in a bundle of resources from The Dating Divas. It’s on sale for two more days. You can read up on it on the blog and watch the video I recorded to show off what you get inside.

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Why You Should Kiss Your Spouse Every Day

Even after 30 years of marriage, my parent still kiss each other goodbye every day. I remember seeing this small act of love while I was growing up. They may not realize this, but that act made me realize the importance of kissing my husband every day. Now that I’m married, I also do this daily in my marriage. Here are some ways things I’ve taken away from it.

We Don’t Go to Bed Angry

It’s very hard to be upset for long periods when you’re kissing each other several times a day. Yes, there are still moments when we’re mad at one another, but we still kiss each other daily. What people may not realize is that kissing creates a deep bond with your spouse. It forms a connection that you want to keep.

Kissing Leads to Physical Affection

Now, my husband is very physically affectionate and I have to work at it because I’m not naturally that way. However, because I make a conscious decision to kiss him every day, we often engage in lots of fun flirting and other forms of physical affection. The small step of kissing makes it easier to show him affection in many ways.

Sex Doesn’t Always Happen And That’s a Good Thing

It’s important to be physically affectionate with your spouse without it leading to the bedroom. Establishing touch that isn’t sexual is necessary in marriage. There are many ways bonding should happen without it leading to sex. If kissing your spouse is only happening in the bedroom, you’re missing out on creating a lasting bond with your spouse.

Sex Does Happen And That’s a Good Thing

The practice of being physically affectionate with one another can result in sex and that’s great! Continual kissing during the day strengthens the bond between you. There are days when a kiss lingers and foretells something that will happen later on.

My Marriage Is Happy

When my husband is gone during the day, our daily kisses help me remember why I miss him. When he comes home, I feel joyful and I get excited when I see him. While enjoying affection in the bedroom is great, taking the focus out of the bedroom helps me form a deeper bond with him.

A small gesture like daily kissing is a simple way to strengthen your relationship. I have seen this do amazing things in marriages, including my parents’, and I know it’s helping mine. Anything that strengthens your marriage is worth investing in.

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Why Solo Sex Doesn’t Help Your Marriage

Brace yourself. I am about to unashamedly tell you why masturbation is not healthy for your marriage. Are you wondering why? I believe solo sex hinders your marriage relationship for these reasons.

There Is A Purpose For Masturbation Within Marriage

I want to clarify something about the difference between masturbation and solo sex. I am not suggesting that masturbation (achieving orgasm with your own hands) should never occur. It can have its place during intimacy with your spouse if you both are comfortable with that. However, solo sex (pleasing yourself alone) is not helping your marital relationship.

There may be times when you have to spend extended time apart from your spouse. I also want to clarify that I am not suggesting you should go without sexual release during this time. I am encouraging you to include your spouse in your sexual desires which includes self-stimulation.

Solo Sex Damages Your Marriage

It is a popular misconception that solo sex enhances your marriage. I’m just not getting that idea. There are many people out there who feel spending time exploring yourself will make sex better with your spouse. I have not heard any legitimate reasons why this could be true.

The more you engage in solo sex, the less you will want to engage in physical intimacy with your spouse. Why would you want to initiate sex when you’ve already satisfied yourself? While solo sex is faster, you are missing out on connecting with your spouse.

Yes, engaging in sexual intercourse takes much more work than solo sex. The more you desire solo sex, the less you’ll desire your spouse. You will eventually have less sex because you are already getting it by yourself. This will damage your relationship down the road.  

solo sex damages marraige

Sexual Release Replaces Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is “intimacy” for a reason. It requires two people. There is a special mental and physical bond that happens during sex that leads to mutual satisfaction. Sex is so much more than just achieving an orgasm.

Sexual intimacy with your spouse establishes a connection with them that you cannot achieve during solo sex. Some people believe that solo sex helps you connect with yourself. Find a way to do that with your spouse.

Talk with your spouse about your sexual needs and desires. It hurts your marriage to replace intimacy with solo release. You will miss out on creating an amazing connection with your spouse.

Intimacy in marriage sexy truth or dare

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A Sneak Preview of Our Next Bedroom Game

You guys have been asking when we would release our next sexy bedroom game for couples, and we are almost there. We are putting the finishing touches on the game and plan to submit it to the designer this week. Normally, Austin designs the games, but this time, we are bringing on some help so we can get it out to you faster.

There are big things coming that I want to tell you about. We are about to open our Love Hope Adventure Community, which is a private group where we are inviting our followers to join us. This will be a subscription based group where we will charge a small monthly fee of $7 to be a part. Also, you’ll get access to our Intimacy in Marriage eCourse.

We are going to do a private invitation to that private group with free entrance next week. We aren’t ready to start charging yet, so if you want to get in on the group for a few weeks free, be sure to sign up for the newsletter below. This is where I’ll send out the private invites.

Once the Love May I Bedroom Game is released, we will send a copy of it to this mailing list. So, be sure to get on it if you want the first look at it.

I Don’t Feel Sexy Anymore- This is What I’m Doing to Change That

I got really honest on my Facebook live today. I talked about how I am struggling to feel sexy with my recent body changes and what I’m doing about it.

I know you’ve felt this way about your body at some point. You’ve no doubt aged, had kids, or whatever other life factors have contributed to body changes.

For me, I lost a crap ton of weight. I’m smaller now than I was in my teenage years. I know you’re probably thinking, wow I hate you, but I want to let you know that losing tons of weight does not mean you’ll have better self esteem.

Body Changes Always Affect You

I went into my favorite store two days in a row looking for new clothes. They were having a major clearance sale- and do you know how many things I found that fit me? Zero. I tried on 50 things, and not a single thing worked.

(Btw- this was a nice dress, but it was pretty impractical for my daily life, so I left it there. However, I have a wedding to attend in a few weeks, and I kinda wish I had it now.)

Yeah- I walked away pretty discouraged. Since my body has changed shapes (for like the 3rd time in my life now) I’m struggling to know what I look sexy in.

Want to know how I’m doing about it? I asked Austin. He’s the one I want to sexually attract- so it seems to make sense.

It’s time you believe your spouse. When they tell you that you look hot, sexy, handsome, beautiful…believe them. Stop trying to read into every word or gesture. Just take them at their word.

I’ve had many readers write in and tell me that they do not think their spouse finds them attractive. Unless they are married to an absolute jerk (which they may be), that’s probably not the case. If your spouse is generally kind, caring, and loving towards you, you can bet your sweet Bippy they are probably telling you the truth about the way you look.

Don’t know what you look sexy in?

Time to ask your spouse. Stop worrying about what Instagram thinks sexy looks like. Stop comparing yourself to unrealistic photoshopped ads. Quit the porn….quit all the porn.

Instead, lean into your spouse. They know what they like- and that’s you.

Other things on my mind today-

I was talking with the owner at Married Dance about what I should put in a honeymoon basket I’m making for a couple that’s getting married in a few weeks. While we were talking, he told me that many people love the to buy their wedge pillows. These are triangle shaped pillows that help you out with different sex positions.

Hopefully you have a fabulous week! I look forward to talk to you again soon.

If you haven’t signed up for my newsletter, be sure to click the link below and do that now. I’ll send you my free truth or dare game.

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Why Is Sexy Truth Or Dare So Popular?

The first bedroom game I ever created was on a whim. I put together a list of sexy truths and dares and published them on Love Hope Adventure. Over the last 2 1/2 years that the post has been on the site, is has been visited 200,000 times.

I was wondering today why it is so popular. It is currently getting a lot of love from Pinterest. Every few weeks, Pinterest throws all kinds of love at it. Google is the same way. I get about 20 searches a day that have specific words to Sexy Truth or Dare.

It’s pretty obvious to me that it is in demand. But why? Have you downloaded the free copy of my free bedroom game yet? If you haven’t, go sign up for the newsletter and I’ll send it right to you.

You can check out the original post I wrote HERE. It’s literally what’s put me on the map as a blogger.

If you have already received this game, I’d love to hear some feedback as to why you got it. How did you find it? What’s your experience with it? What’s the allure to playing the game? Leave me a message in the comments section, I’d love to hear from you.

Let Your Spouse See You Fully Naked

Every single time I suggest that you guys let your spouse get a good close look at you naked- I get a lot of pushback.

I’ve heard everything from-

My spouse doesn’t want to see me naked.

They don’t think I’m attractive.

I’ve changed down there since my birth.

I don’t think I could ever do that.

…and son on.

It’s time to stop it. I understand you have fears…but let’s band together and commit to working through those issues, instead of letting them rob you any longer.

Here me when I say this, sweet reader- that you are a beautiful and wonderful creation of God. He didn’t create us to be ashamed of our bodies. We became that way because of sin. In marriage- though, being naked and unashamed is restored. While we no longer have that innocence with the rest of the world, we do have that perfection with our spouse.

So- how do we start feeling more comfortable letting our spouse see us? Here’s a few things can try-

Look At Your Body Everyday

If you want to get comfortable with your spouse looking at your body, you need to be willing to look at it yourself. The more you expose yourself to the way you look, the more natural it will seem. Take time to look at your body fully in the mirror every day.

Limit Your Influences

Stop looking at everyone else’s bodies, or what your body used to look like. Comparisons will kill your self-esteem. You’ll never feel like you measure up to what you think you’re supposed to be like.

Don’t look at porn. Don’t look at airbrushed models. Stop looking at beauty magazines or fitness accounts on Instagram. Don’t even look at old pictures of yourself and long for the body of old. Limit what you see.

Spend Time Without Clothes On

Consider going to bed naked, or walking around without a robe on while getting ready in the morning. If you are always covered up, being naked won’t feel as comfortable to you. The more you are around your spouse without clothing, the more comfortable you will feel with them looking at you.

I actually suggest that you go to bed naked if you can. It makes it easier to have sex when you show up without clothing on.

Accept Compliments

If your spouse tells you they love your body- believe them. Many times, I hear one spouse compliment another, and they shoo away the comment. Actually, I hear people do that to those that aren’t their spouse either.

The right response to someone telling you that they like something about you is, “Thank you”. Learn to accept compliments from your spouse and others. Just believe them!

Ease Into It

Don’t think you have to go from turtle necks to butt naked over night. It is going to take time to let your spouse have unlimited access to viewing you fully. You might start with showing just a little bit more over a few weeks. Anytime you are trying something new, it will take a while.

These are a few of the ways you can feel more comfortable being naked in front of your spouse.

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Have You Taken The Snuggle Challenge?

I wrote about the snuggle experiment that I has conducting on Austin without his knowledge. If you didn’t know, physical touch is his love language, but it can be a bit bothersome to me. I’ve been called a touch-me-not all of my life. For that reason, I’ve had to be really intentional with physical touch.

Don’t confuse physical touch with sexual intimacy. These are actually two separate things. Physical touch is the non-sexual hugs, kisses, and touching that we crave as  humans.

I’ve been taking the snuggle challenge myself for a few weeks, and I’ve had some really startling results. Since I’m not big on this, I didn’t really expect it to do much for me. Really, I was doing this for Austin’s benefit.

You can read the post I wrote about the effects of the snuggle challenge at Love Hope Adventure.

Take The Snuggle Challenge

Take the Snuggle Challenge

6 Ways to Flirt With Your Spouse

Tomorrow, I’m bringing on a guest to talk about wives flirting with their husbands. Her name is Rebekah Hargraves from Hargraves Home and Hearth. She has a few suggestions of how wives can flirt with their husbands. I think these same suggestions can go both ways.

Here’s what she has to say-

  • Send him flirty little text messages during the day, letting him know you’re thinking of him
  • Hide notes in the lunch container he takes to work, in his car, or on his side of the bed
  • Let him know you’re wearing something flirty
  • Tell him you are looking forward to being with him
  • Get a babysitter, schedule a special date night on the calendar, pick up some of Keelie’s bedroom games, and tell your hubby what you have planned
  • Tell him how attractive you find him to be

I thought these were some fun ideas of how to grab your lover’s attention.

Tomorrow, I’m going to be interviewed by Rebekah about sexual intimacy. I can’t wait to share the episode with you.

Other things on my mind this week-

Don’t nag your spouse, do this instead.

I found sexy underwear for men on Amazon. Who says there isn’t lingerie for men?

I’m so excited to see Married Dance carry these sexy body stickers for women.

Jay Dee from Uncovering Intimacy answered the question- Why doesn’t my wife get wet?