Category: sex toys

Have you tried using a vibrator to orgasm, but really struggled? Here’s the key to using one to reach climax.

The Problem With Orgasming With a Vibrator

One of the biggest problems you can experience is setting your vibrator up too high to start out. It can easily go from feeling good to being really annoying and uncomfortable within a few minutes. The vibration can feel amazing but you can struggle to get over the hill and experience climax.

How to Orgasm With a Sex Toy

There are a few keys to orgasming with a vibrator:

1. Pick the right toy.

I know some people think that if you use a vibrator it’s an instant orgasm device. It’s not the case though. Honestly, the more expensive the vibrator, the better in general. It’s because more expensive products are designed with better vibration patterns. WeVibe products are usually good quality.

2. Choose the right speed.

Start with a low vibration. If you get there too fast, then it is going to irritate and start to hurt. At the same time, if you stay too slow for too long, it can kill the feelings. It really is a fine balance. You have to learn to communicate to your spouse what speed and movements you need them to use. Don’t be afraid to guide their hand.

3. Get Into Different Positions

The position you start out in may not be where you need to stay. Once things start feeling good, move around to see what you like. For example, you might start out on your back and then move to being on your hands and knees when things start feeling good.

4. Incorporate Other Stimulation

While you or your spouse is using the toy on you, do other sexually stimulating things. You can try kissing, rubbing, light slapping, or sexy talk. Also, consider doing things that are visually stimulating. Get in front of a mirror or use the camera on your phone to get a closer look at what’s happening.

If you’re not able to orgasm with a toy, that’s not unusual. Don’t get discouraged. Keep trying different toys and methods to see what works for you. Here’s another resource I wrote on orgasming with a vibrator.

Sex toys get such a bad rap, and I understand why. A lot of bad images are conjured up when people start thinking about sex toys. But, the industry has changed tremendously. That’s why so many Christian married couples are choosing to buy sex toys.

Sex Toys Can Be Marital Aids

There are no doubt toys on the market that are meant for you to masturbate and not to help a couple grow closer to intimacy. I know there are many people that think anytime you introduce a toy into the marriage bed, it replaces the need for the spouse. However, I haven’t found that to be true in my marriage. I believe that it is not the best choice for everyone.

But…vibrators, penis pumps, penis sleeves, cock rings, lubes and other marital aids have really helped couples to experience the joy of sex with one another. When you use these items together, it can bring a lot of satisfaction and connection.

Why I Bought a Vibrator

Many years ago, I bought a vibrator. I wanted to try anal sex and I read that a vibrator would make it feel good for me. Also, I read that it can make the experience less painful. It’s all true by the way. If you are considering trying out anal, I do recommend a vibrator, and a lot of lube and a condom for your husband.

The majority of sex positions do not provide a woman with enough clitoral stimulation to orgasm. That’s one of the times that a vibrator is helpful for a couple.

When to Use a Vibrator

There are many times a vibrator is a great option for a couple. Some of these times include:

• During your period– if you don’t like to have intercourse during your period, a vibrator can be a great option. I recommend you buy a stroker for your husband so that you can take turns pleasing each other during that time of the month.
• When you are struggling to orgasm– it’s no secret that some women have a very hard time orgasming. A vibrator can be used to help her achieve that. Not every woman is going to be able to orgasm with a vibrator, but she may find it helps her to get warmed up for sex.
• To stimulate your husband’s frenulum– the frenulum is located near the head of the penis and resembles the skin that’s on the inside of your mouth that connects your top lip to your gums. This area on your husband acts very similar to the clitoris and can be stimulated in the same way using a vibrator.
• You want to try something new- just like a new sex position or foreplay move, a sex toy can bring variety to your intimacy.
• In a sex position that doesn’t stimulate you enough- if you are trying out a sex position, such as rear entry, consider using a vibrator to stimulate yourself.

What Are Your Questions About Vibrators or Sex Toys?

If you have questions about vibrators or sex toys, feel free to send me a message at keelie@lovehopeadventure.com. You can also send me a message through the Love Hope Adventure Facebook page. I will do my best to answer or get the info you need.

Good First Vibrators to Try

If you’re ready to try one, I’ve got a few recommendations for you. I do want to issue a warning, it’s really important you buy sex toys from reputable sources because they are not regulated like other industries. That means they can be made of materials that are not healthy for your body. That’s why I send people to Married Dance, which is a Christian Friendly Sex Toy store. Everything they sell is in porn free packaging and made with quality materials.

Magic Wand

The magic wand is actually a body massager that worked really well as a stimulator. Many couples like to buy this because it has a dual purpose. If they do not like it as a vibrator, they can still use it as a massager for their body.

Lelo SONA

The Lelo SONA is designed to specifically stimulate the clitoris. The great thing about it is that it is quiet. Many vibrators sound like a toothbrush buzzing. It also comes with a cable to recharge it so you don’t have to deal with batteries.

Jelly Eager Beaver

The Jelly Eager Beaver has dual stimulation. That means it vibrates inside and stimulates the outside as well. The good thing about this type is that you can use the part that is designed to go inside on your clitoris if you don’t feel comfortable with it inside.

Hopefully, this will help you decide if it is the right thing for you or not. It won’t be the best choice for everyone.

*I use affiliate links

I had a reader ask me to do a video about sex toys for men. Just as a note, I believe that all marital aids should be used between a husband and wife. I don’t think you should purchase sex toys so that you can please yourself as a way of avoiding sex with your spouse. Or use toys without your spouse’s knowledge.

If you want to learn more about this, you can go here to check it out.

If you would rather read about the sex toys available for men, you can check out this post I wrote.

Looking for a good place to buy a new toy? I trust Married Dance for this type of purchase because they are porn free on the site and only ship porn free packaging. There are a lot of things you just don’t need to see in the sex toy world. But, Married Dance offers great products for Christians.

Here is a link to a stretchy cock ring that is designed to go over a man’s penis and balls.

Here is a link to several strokers for guys.

The owner of Married Dance put together these great tips on vibrators. He was gracious enough to let me share these tips with you. I know I learned a lot from these ideas. It can be scary to buy a vibrator, because you have no idea what it will feel like or if it is a waste of money. These tips will help you pick out the right one.

1. Bullet and Egg Vibrators

If you’ve never used a vibrators before, these are a good kinds to start with. Bullet vibrators are usually small and can be used to from stimulation during foreplay. You can them take a step further and add some spice to intercourse.

Egg vibrators are named as such because they are shaped like a flattened egg. Instead of holding them like the bullet, these ones are cupped by your hand. These types can be used both on the wife and husband.

2. Wireless Remote Controlled Vibrators

Operating these toys can be quite fun. Just like other vibrators I’ll mention in a minute, they can be enjoyed during foreplay and intercourse. Here are two ways to use them:

• The husband uses the bullet vibrators and places it inside the wife. She has the remote to control the level of stimulation. Oral or manual stimulation can accompany the use this type.
• The wife takes the egg vibrator, cups it in her hand and places it underneath her husband’s testicles. He gets the remote this time, allowing him to control his own pleasure. Oral stimulation from the wife pairs well with this technique. This one is best used if you want “catch a breath during intercourse”.

3. Wearable Vibrators

These types of vibrators can be worn by your husband during intercourse. A stretchy ring is placed around the bullet vibrator so it can be worn on the penis. It then vibrates to stimulate your husband during intercourse while at the same time stimulating your clitoris.

4. Bullet Vibrators With a Flat Tip

The vibrators have a flat tip at one end. This is primarily for the wife’s use. The flat tip enables optimal clitoral stimulation to be reached by easily targeting where she needs it.

5. Rumbly Vibrators

While most vibrators have a low humming sound, these rumbly vibrators are quite the opposite. Although they are still quiet, they are very powerful. The powerful rumble enhances lovemaking by delivering an intense charge of stimulation during foreplay or even intercourse.

*this post contains affiliate links

There are a lot of sex toys for men on the market that I wouldn’t recommend. Often times, these toys are designed for solo sex and there is no place for that in marriage. However, there are some toys on the market that are designed to help a husband and wife enjoy their time of intimacy better.

I’ve talked about sex toys before and shared that there are some on the market that can enhance your time with your spouse. If one or both of you struggles to reach orgasm, some of these toys can help you with that.

I wanted to highlight a few of these sex toys for men and share with you the purpose of them.

Sleeves or Hand Strokers

A penis sleeve or hand stroker can be used by your wife to stimulate you. Once you are erect, she can place the sleeve on you and bring you to orgasm that way. This type of toy can add a lot to her giving you a hand job.

If your wife is not able to have intercourse with you for some reason, this can be a good solution for you guys to connect sexually. In turn, you can use a vibrator on her as a way to please her.

This is a good solution for when she is on her period, certain times in her pregnancy, or if she is dealing with some other physical ailment. If she has been put on pelvic rest due to pregnancy or UTI, then you need to clear it with a doctor before you use a vibrator on her.

Power Stroker 

Stud Stroker:

You may find that this is a great addition to your sexual repertoire to change things up in the bedroom.

Penis Rings

Did you ever walk into a bathroom and see this type of sex toy being sold on the wall? I haven’t seen anything like that in a long time, but I used to.

Honestly, I didn’t understand this type of toy until I talked with the owner of Married Dance. He told me that it is really for those that struggle to keep their erections. This is not a toy that is designed for a male that has a strong erection the entire time.

Penis Ring 

Penis Pumps

This is another type of toy that can help men that suffer from ED or find it hard to get an erection. The penis pump is designed to help pull blood into your penis so that you can get an erection.

There are other factors that can keep you from getting hard, such as stress, being tired, and reactions from medications. Using a pump can help you become stimulated enough so that you can have sex.

Ultimate Sta-Hard Kit

Like I said at the start, there are plenty of toys on the market for men that are not beneficial to your marriage bed. These toys are made for guys to masturbate with or play out fantasies on their own. The toys I’ve highlighted are designed to enhance your time together.

3 Things You Can Do To Spice Up Your Sex Life