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A Sneak Preview of Our Next Bedroom Game

You guys have been asking when we would release our next sexy bedroom game for couples, and we are almost there. We are putting the finishing touches on the game and plan to submit it to the designer this week. Normally, Austin designs the games, but this time, we are bringing on some help so we can get it out to you faster.

There are big things coming that I want to tell you about. We are about to open our Love Hope Adventure Community, which is a private group where we are inviting our followers to join us. This will be a subscription based group where we will charge a small monthly fee of $7 to be a part. Also, you’ll get access to our Intimacy in Marriage eCourse.

We are going to do a private invitation to that private group with free entrance next week. We aren’t ready to start charging yet, so if you want to get in on the group for a few weeks free, be sure to sign up for the newsletter below. This is where I’ll send out the private invites.

Once the Love May I Bedroom Game is released, we will send a copy of it to this mailing list. So, be sure to get on it if you want the first look at it.

I Don’t Feel Sexy Anymore- This is What I’m Doing to Change That

I got really honest on my Facebook live today. I talked about how I am struggling to feel sexy with my recent body changes and what I’m doing about it.

I know you’ve felt this way about your body at some point. You’ve no doubt aged, had kids, or whatever other life factors have contributed to body changes.

For me, I lost a crap ton of weight. I’m smaller now than I was in my teenage years. I know you’re probably thinking, wow I hate you, but I want to let you know that losing tons of weight does not mean you’ll have better self esteem.

Body Changes Always Affect You

I went into my favorite store two days in a row looking for new clothes. They were having a major clearance sale- and do you know how many things I found that fit me? Zero. I tried on 50 things, and not a single thing worked.

(Btw- this was a nice dress, but it was pretty impractical for my daily life, so I left it there. However, I have a wedding to attend in a few weeks, and I kinda wish I had it now.)

Yeah- I walked away pretty discouraged. Since my body has changed shapes (for like the 3rd time in my life now) I’m struggling to know what I look sexy in.

Want to know how I’m doing about it? I asked Austin. He’s the one I want to sexually attract- so it seems to make sense.

It’s time you believe your spouse. When they tell you that you look hot, sexy, handsome, beautiful…believe them. Stop trying to read into every word or gesture. Just take them at their word.

I’ve had many readers write in and tell me that they do not think their spouse finds them attractive. Unless they are married to an absolute jerk (which they may be), that’s probably not the case. If your spouse is generally kind, caring, and loving towards you, you can bet your sweet Bippy they are probably telling you the truth about the way you look.

Don’t know what you look sexy in?

Time to ask your spouse. Stop worrying about what Instagram thinks sexy looks like. Stop comparing yourself to unrealistic photoshopped ads. Quit the porn….quit all the porn.

Instead, lean into your spouse. They know what they like- and that’s you.

Other things on my mind today-

I was talking with the owner at Married Dance about what I should put in a honeymoon basket I’m making for a couple that’s getting married in a few weeks. While we were talking, he told me that many people love the to buy their wedge pillows. These are triangle shaped pillows that help you out with different sex positions.

Hopefully you have a fabulous week! I look forward to talk to you again soon.

If you haven’t signed up for my newsletter, be sure to click the link below and do that now. I’ll send you my free truth or dare game.

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Why Is Sexy Truth Or Dare So Popular?

The first bedroom game I ever created was on a whim. I put together a list of sexy truths and dares and published them on Love Hope Adventure. Over the last 2 1/2 years that the post has been on the site, is has been visited 200,000 times.

I was wondering today why it is so popular. It is currently getting a lot of love from Pinterest. Every few weeks, Pinterest throws all kinds of love at it. Google is the same way. I get about 20 searches a day that have specific words to Sexy Truth or Dare.

It’s pretty obvious to me that it is in demand. But why? Have you downloaded the free copy of my free bedroom game yet? If you haven’t, go sign up for the newsletter and I’ll send it right to you.

You can check out the original post I wrote HERE. It’s literally what’s put me on the map as a blogger.

If you have already received this game, I’d love to hear some feedback as to why you got it. How did you find it? What’s your experience with it? What’s the allure to playing the game? Leave me a message in the comments section, I’d love to hear from you.

You Don’t Have to Be Freak to Be Sexually Adventurous

I think that a lot of people avoid things in the bedroom because they are worried about being labeled a freak in the bedroom. When you embrace sex as the gift God gave you and that He designed us to explore one another, then you will have so much more freedom in the bedroom.

I wrote more about this idea and ways you can explore your lover over on my sister site- Love Hope Adventure.

You Don’t Have to Be a Freak to Be Sexually Adventurous

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Expect to Orgasm Every Time

There was a time that I didn’t expect to have an orgasm every time I had sex. I realize that seems completely crazy for husbands, but many wives say they can take it or leave it. The problem I find with this concept- is that it easily leads to duty sex.

Why Not Expecting Orgasm Leads to Duty Sex

Sex should feel good- to both people. When sex only feels good to one person, it tends to move to the chore list for the one that’s not experiencing the high. And why wouldn’t it? If you don’t feel you are receiving any benefit from a regular activity, it’s not going to be something you jump at the chance to do.

Doing dishes is my least favorite chore. I know the dishes need to be done so we can eat, but it’s not something I enjoy doing. It is what it is- a chore. Maybe a spouse knows that sex is something important in the marriage, but they have little motivation to do it, because it isn’t giving them satisfaction.

Resentment Comes From Not Orgasming

Here’s the unfortunate cycle that many spouses get in. They struggle to orgasm, which leads to disappointment. They go into the next sexual encounter with less confidence, which makes them less likely to orgasm.

When one spouse is clearly having a wonderful time with a sexual experience, and the other isn’t- resentment tends to build. The spouse that isn’t reaching climax can feel left out of the experience.

No orgasm= no motivation. So, how do you increase your chances of experiencing that high and enjoying your intimate time more?

Expect to Orgasm Every Time

The husband and wife need to expect that both of them will reach orgasm every time. When you both come into the situation with the mindset that you’ll do what it takes to get your spouse there, it makes a big difference.

Working together as a team takes place in the bedroom as much as any other part of marriage. If you both go into the situation with the same expectation, it helps you achieve your goals.

Don’t Give Up

I say to the spouse that is struggling to enjoy sex- don’t give up. To the spouse that is married to someone that struggles to enjoy sex- don’t give up. This is part of the commitment that you made to them on their wedding day. You will be there with them no matter what.

Try new things, keep working at it, celebrate your victories, and ultimately, work towards great intimacy.

Let Your Spouse See You Fully Naked

Every single time I suggest that you guys let your spouse get a good close look at you naked- I get a lot of pushback.

I’ve heard everything from-

My spouse doesn’t want to see me naked.

They don’t think I’m attractive.

I’ve changed down there since my birth.

I don’t think I could ever do that.

…and son on.

It’s time to stop it. I understand you have fears…but let’s band together and commit to working through those issues, instead of letting them rob you any longer.

Here me when I say this, sweet reader- that you are a beautiful and wonderful creation of God. He didn’t create us to be ashamed of our bodies. We became that way because of sin. In marriage- though, being naked and unashamed is restored. While we no longer have that innocence with the rest of the world, we do have that perfection with our spouse.

So- how do we start feeling more comfortable letting our spouse see us? Here’s a few things can try-

Look At Your Body Everyday

If you want to get comfortable with your spouse looking at your body, you need to be willing to look at it yourself. The more you expose yourself to the way you look, the more natural it will seem. Take time to look at your body fully in the mirror every day.

Limit Your Influences

Stop looking at everyone else’s bodies, or what your body used to look like. Comparisons will kill your self-esteem. You’ll never feel like you measure up to what you think you’re supposed to be like.

Don’t look at porn. Don’t look at airbrushed models. Stop looking at beauty magazines or fitness accounts on Instagram. Don’t even look at old pictures of yourself and long for the body of old. Limit what you see.

Spend Time Without Clothes On

Consider going to bed naked, or walking around without a robe on while getting ready in the morning. If you are always covered up, being naked won’t feel as comfortable to you. The more you are around your spouse without clothing, the more comfortable you will feel with them looking at you.

I actually suggest that you go to bed naked if you can. It makes it easier to have sex when you show up without clothing on.

Accept Compliments

If your spouse tells you they love your body- believe them. Many times, I hear one spouse compliment another, and they shoo away the comment. Actually, I hear people do that to those that aren’t their spouse either.

The right response to someone telling you that they like something about you is, “Thank you”. Learn to accept compliments from your spouse and others. Just believe them!

Ease Into It

Don’t think you have to go from turtle necks to butt naked over night. It is going to take time to let your spouse have unlimited access to viewing you fully. You might start with showing just a little bit more over a few weeks. Anytime you are trying something new, it will take a while.

These are a few of the ways you can feel more comfortable being naked in front of your spouse.

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How to Stop Feeling Grossed Out When Giving Your Husband Oral Sex

After I wrote about how to stop feeling grossed out on receiving oral sex, I received more questions about giving. One reader wanted to know how to stop feeling grossed out by giving their husband oral sex. This is such a tough topic, but one we really need to work through.
If your spouse really enjoys foreplay moves or sex positions, it would be honoring for you to figure out how to make it happen. So, if you are struggling with this, but want to give oral sex a try, then try these ideas.

1. Work through your mindset.

I personally do not see anywhere in the scriptures that talks about oral sex being wrong. If anything, many well studied Bible scholars believe that oral sex is referenced in Song of Solomon.
I certainly think that saying that dogs lick themselves and that we shouldn’t for that reason. That sounds like a personal preference, not a mandate.

2. Use flavored lube.

 

If the taste is bothering you, then I suggest you use a flavored lube. There’s plenty of flavors that you can work with. If you don’t want to use lube, you can use a natural products like chocolate syrup, coconut oil, whipped cream, or something else. Believe me, this will really go a long way in helping you deal with the taste.

3. Start small.

 

You don’t have to bring your spouse to orgasm every time you give him oral sex. You can give him a little bit before you have sex. Actually, wetting him down with your mouth will make it easier to have sex, because you are adding to the lubrication. The more you do it, the easier it will become.

4. Work up to letting him orgasm in your mouth.

If cum is a real problem for you, then bring him to the point of orgasm and then finish him off another way. Right before he is ready, you can stop giving him oral and use your hands or something else.

5. Be open with your communication.

Let him know that this is something you want to do for him, but you are struggling. He needs to know that when you give him oral sex, that you are putting yourself out there for him. That will help him be much more understanding and appreciate your efforts more.
 
Also, let him know what cleaning routine you need from him. It may help you if he were to spray your favorite cologne or fragrance on his legs. He doesn’t need to spray it directly on himself, because then you’ll end up eating that.

6. Give it time.

I think that a lot of people think that if they don’t like something right away in the bedroom, then they should stop. It can take years for you to start to enjoy certain types of foreplay and sex positions. It is important to keep trying. Give yourself patience and grace. Push yourself a little at a time.
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How to Stop Feeling Grossed Out By Receiving Oral Sex

I am often asked about how to get more comfortable with oral sex. In fact, I’ve written about it a few different times. This week, I’m answering a reader question.

Here’s what they asked-

Oral sex, no matter what, gives me the willies…is that normal?? I hate it. How can I get past that?

Here’s what I shared with them-

Yes, it is completely normal to feel grossed out by oral sex. A lot of men and women struggle with that. If you want to like it, then there’s a few things I suggest-

1. Figure out why oral sex grosses you out.

Is it a sanitation thing? Do you feel sexually dirty? Does it bring up bad memories? Get to the route cause of your mental block.

2. Change the way you think.

Change the way you think about oral sex

Once you know why you feel grossed out about it mentally, start combating those thoughts with positive thoughts about the sex act.

3. Experiment with direct stimulation.

Let your spouse spend more time giving you direct stimulation on your erotic spot. It really helps to allow your spouse to touch you more there. They need to use lubrication for this.

4. Get used to feeling wet.  

Some people think that oral sex is gross because of the extra moisture they feel. This can actually be a huge turn on once you get over the new sensations. We normally don’t want to feel wet down there.

So, your brain might be stopping you from enjoying the wetness. To acclimate yourself to that feeling, use lubrication. You can use lube during sex to make it wetter. You can also just put lube on yourself and walk around for a while in the mornings when you are getting ready.

5. Get really turned on.

Any time a sex act grosses you out, that normally goes out the window when you get super hot. Same thing happens if something is hurting you a little bit. Your brain can usually shut those inhibitions down to some degree. Get super super turned on and then let your spouse give you oral.

Another good idea might be to wait a few days in between sex so that anticipation builds in you. This can help you feel turned on faster.

6. Let your spouse tease you.

They can start with their fingers or a toy to get you stimulated. Then they should back off and tease you a little. You may find that you desire them to touch you more when they stop. That would easily lend itself to allowing them to give you oral going. Since you would be really excited at that point and desiring them to touch you, then it may feel better.

In general, when it comes to oral sex or anything sex related, we just have to get out of our minds. It may help you to close your eyes so you don’t see. It could be you need to stop thinking when he is doing it. Simply taking showers and using lotions and fragrances may put you at ease.

If you really want to learn to enjoy it, just keep trying a little at a time. It can take years to really learn to like something in the bedroom.

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Are You Showing Self Control in Your Sex Life?

We are advocates of sexual purity being a life long commitment to God. This isn’t something that is just for singles, but also for us in our married life. Sexual purity looks different in our single lives as it is in our married lives.

Today, I am talking about showing self control in your sex life. This isn’t just a purity issue, there are other implication to not showing control in regards to sex within your marriage.

Listen in on what I have to say in this video.