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I was talking to Jay Dee from Uncovering Intimacy earlier and he was sharing that he keeps getting requests to talk about butt play and anal sex. We both agreed that you kind of have to be in the mood to talk about that subject, which he was not quite ready to do.
As I was looking at what people have been searching for here on the site, “anal” has come up in the search bar a few times. Apparently, everybody wants to know about anal sex.
Here’s the thing, I kind of didn’t even want to address this topic, because I know that there are some Christian marriage bloggers that take the stance that this is not a good option for your sexual intimacy. Other Christian marriage bloggers think it is just fine.
What do I think? Well…I think it is up to you. At the end of the day, the sexual choices you make are really up to you and your spouse. There are definitely some things that people do in their bedrooms that is against scripture, such as looking at porn or inviting others into their rooms.
When it comes to anal sex, I think some people will say that it is wrong according to the Bible. I really think you have to figure that one out on your own.
Should You Have Anal Sex?
Again, this is a decision that you and your spouse have got to make with one another. There is no way that I, or any other blogger can decide that for you. I’ve tried to give you the information you need it you were to decide to have anal sex.
Make note that it is hazardous to have anal sex and then go to vaginal sex without cleaning up with hot soapy water. Spreading the bacteria from back to front can cause urinary tract infections.
I do want to give you some things to think about when it comes to this type of play.
You Need the Right Lube
It’s pretty important that you get anal lube like this one- Cleanstream Water-based Anal Lube 8oz. Unlike the vagina, your bum doesn’t produce lubrication. It’s pretty important to have a water based lube that will not dry out as quickly.
There are some lubes that are supposed to work as analgesics, but seriously, I don’t know if I’d recommend that. If it’s hurting your booty, you need to know.
Condoms Are a Good Idea
There is all sorts of bacteria that you are going to come into contact with. Using a condom will protect your husband. It might also help with your comfort levels to have the smoothness of a condom. Go with a condom like this Trojan Condom ENZ Lubricated, 36 Count and not a ribbed one.
Avoid if You Are Dealing With Hemorrhoids
This might be a no-brainer, but I thought I’d mention that if you have hemorrhoids that are current flared up or could flare up, you would be better off skipping this activity. Hemorrhoids hurt like crazy when nothing’s happening, so you’re going to be right much pain if you try this out.
Go So Very Slow
Anal sex requires going very slowly. Many people do not engage in anal, because it is so painful for them. If it is painful, then you need to re-adjust or stop altogether. Believe me, you don’t want to cause damage to yourself down there.
This is actually one of the reasons that some of the bloggers I follow do not condone anal sex. They feel that the health risks involved are just not worth it. That is why I say it is really important that you go slow and quit if it is painful.
It can be helpful for you to tell your husband to stay still and you push back slowly. Even once your spouse gets inside of you, he’s not going to be able to go very fast then, either.
Relax, Relax, Relax
You will have to figure out how to relax yourself. If you tense up during anal, it is going to hurt you and you won’t be successful.
Likely, you’ll feel like you have to poop. It will only be natural for your muscles to push. Just keep reminding yourself to stay relaxed.
Use a Vibrator
Consider using a vibrator to stimulate your cliteros while having anal sex. It will help you to enjoy this position more. When you are stimulated, you have the ability to withstand discomfort more. It’ll also combat that feeling of needing to poop.
Here are a few vibrator choices from Married Dance that might work-
Married Dance has a pretty huge selection of vibrators. Whatever type of vibrator you use, you will need to be able to reach yourself. This will not be something your husband can hold in place for you, because all of his attention will need to be on what he’s doing.
Should You Wear Butt Plugs to Loosen Your Anus?
Well…you can wear a butt plug to help loosen your anus if you want to. Some say it is necessary to stretch out your bottom some, but other say it isn’t necessary. If you have never had anything up your bottom before, you might consider trying. This will help you know what to expect.
Do You Need to Use an Enema?
Here’s another one of those questions that have various answers. It would probably be for the best that you aren’t backed up if you are going to engage in anal sex. At least make sure you’ve had a bowel movement during the day at some point.
Some people will use enemas in preparation. I do not have experience with enemas. You just need to make the decision on your own.
Anal Sex Requires a Lot of Preparation
By now, you are probably wondering why anyone in the world even bothers with anal. This laundry list of things you have to do to prepare is a big reason people don’t try, or aren’t successful.
If you do want to try anal, it will take patience, communication, and a lot of time. Don’t think this will be something that you can just spring on your spouse. You’ll need to set up a night when you try and make sure you have all of the things needed.
Good luck if you try it out.
See my post on being bold on initiating.