I am often asked about how to get more comfortable with oral sex. In fact, I’ve written about it a few different times. This week, I’m answering a reader question.
Here’s what they asked-
Oral sex, no matter what, gives me the willies…is that normal?? I hate it. How can I get past that?
Here’s what I shared with them-
Yes, it is completely normal to feel grossed out by oral sex. A lot of men and women struggle with that. If you want to like it, then there’s a few things I suggest-
1. Figure out why oral sex grosses you out.
Is it a sanitation thing? Do you feel sexually dirty? Does it bring up bad memories? Get to the route cause of your mental block.
2. Change the way you think.
Once you know why you feel grossed out about it mentally, start combating those thoughts with positive thoughts about the sex act.
3. Experiment with direct stimulation.
Let your spouse spend more time giving you direct stimulation on your erotic spot. It really helps to allow your spouse to touch you more there. They need to use lubrication for this.
4. Get used to feeling wet.
Some people think that oral sex is gross because of the extra moisture they feel. This can actually be a huge turn on once you get over the new sensations. We normally don’t want to feel wet down there.
So, your brain might be stopping you from enjoying the wetness. To acclimate yourself to that feeling, use lubrication. You can use lube during sex to make it wetter. You can also just put lube on yourself and walk around for a while in the mornings when you are getting ready.
5. Get really turned on.
Any time a sex act grosses you out, that normally goes out the window when you get super hot. Same thing happens if something is hurting you a little bit. Your brain can usually shut those inhibitions down to some degree. Get super super turned on and then let your spouse give you oral.
Another good idea might be to wait a few days in between sex so that anticipation builds in you. This can help you feel turned on faster.
6. Let your spouse tease you.
They can start with their fingers or a toy to get you stimulated. Then they should back off and tease you a little. You may find that you desire them to touch you more when they stop. That would easily lend itself to allowing them to give you oral going. Since you would be really excited at that point and desiring them to touch you, then it may feel better.
In general, when it comes to oral sex or anything sex related, we just have to get out of our minds. It may help you to close your eyes so you don’t see. It could be you need to stop thinking when he is doing it. Simply taking showers and using lotions and fragrances may put you at ease.
If you really want to learn to enjoy it, just keep trying a little at a time. It can take years to really learn to like something in the bedroom.
*I use affliate links